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Climbing, Adventure, Gear & Choss
In Search of a Nemesis
In light of the recent back and forth banter between Peter Beal, and the folks over at Rock and Ice, I had a stunning realization: Peter is a marketing genius! He pisses them off, they respond, and he gets a bunch of traffic out of the deal. Why have I never thought of this before? I need an online nemesis! I can just picture all that free traffic now…
I used to have a nemesis, but he had no online presence aside from leaving poorly written, inflammatory comments, and all I got out of it was a headache and less hope for mankind. Once I figured out his real name and where he lived, he thankfully fell off the scene. But back to task at hand, I’ll have to do some research on the editors of the other magazines, maybe there’s one that would be my ideal nemesis. In case you’re interested in the job, here’s a list of qualifications. That person would have to:
- Hate sport climbing, dogs, stick clips, bolts, permadraws, Indian Creek, parties, laughing, anything fun really.
- Believe only certain people should be allowed to climb at certain crags. The more elitist the better, ideally they’ll have a whole binder full of secret crag beta.
- Think guidebooks and beta ruin climbing areas.
- Be crusty as hell, the more they complain about the way things were, the better. And they have to hate crowds for sure.
- Believe that their view is the only legitimate one, and why can’t everyone else see this?
Forget trying to come up with fun promotions or give stuff away, this strategy has the potential to really bring in the big numbers. Now I all I’ve got to do is find the right sucker editor to pick a fight with…
11 Responses to In Search of a Nemesis
Bulldog Creek Dog Walk (IV WI 4+)
Hayden Carpenter and Tom Bohanon recently repeated an obscure ice climb on the south side of Mt Sopris. Given a brief mention in Jack Robert’s ice guide, Bulldog Creek Walk is described as being 100 meters of WI 4. What they found was seven pitches of ice in a remote setting that makes for one […]
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He would also have to think all gym climbing should be banned as it is disrespectful to real climbing and real climbers. The travesty that gym routes are actually graded can never be forgotten.
I’ve actually met people with all of the above, and some good boulderers and sport climbers that fit all the above except the sport climbing bit. When they don’t think anything should be graded below about a V10 or .14, or .12X, you should probably just take your conversation elsewhere.
They definitely hate gyms, can’t believe I missed that one!
Ha, ha! Nice! It sounds like you should head up against Peter Beal himself.
Fun?!?! THERE’S NO *FUN* IN CLIMBING!
Nice try BJ. Come up with a real debate topic instead of stuff like this post and we can talk! 🙂
Ha! But it did get you over here…although wait, I linked to you…so I gave YOU traffic. A true mastermind!
I’ve actually got one in the works, something I’ve been thinking about for awhile, but thanks to your recent efforts I’m finally going to put it out there.
It’s about time. Here’s some imflammatory rhetoric if you need a blurb or something 🙂
” this blog is an abomination, a blight on the outdoor media landscape that should be abhorred by anyone with a conscience.”
Blight…good word! I’m going to go look up a few of those other ones and get back to you.
Anytime dude!
If you really want a nemesis, go after the guy at homoclimbtastic.com. He posts up on Supertopo every once in a while. Without fail, his posts there leave me laughing out loud. His blog is just as funny and he also has the best logo ever; two mountain goats humping! I am sure that he could give you some really great banter.
Works for the rappers.
Shoo at AssholeClimbers.com here. I hear you need an enemy who hates things.