In Search of a Nemesis

In light of the recent back and forth banter between Peter Beal, and the folks over at Rock and Ice, I had a stunning realization: Peter is a marketing genius! He pisses them off, they respond, and he gets a bunch of traffic out of the deal. Why have I never thought of this before? I need an online nemesis! I can just picture all that free traffic now…

I used to have a nemesis, but he had no online presence aside from leaving poorly written, inflammatory comments, and all I got out of it was a headache and less hope for mankind. Once I figured out his real name and where he lived, he thankfully fell off the scene. But back to task at hand, I’ll have to do some research on the editors of the other magazines, maybe there’s one that would be my ideal nemesis. In case you’re interested in the job, here’s a list of qualifications. That person would have to:

• Hate sport climbing, dogs, stick clips, bolts, permadraws, Indian Creek, parties, laughing, anything fun really.
•  Believe only certain people should be allowed to climb at certain crags. The more elitist the better, ideally they’ll have a whole binder full of secret crag beta.
• Think guidebooks and beta ruin climbing areas.
• Be crusty as hell, the more they complain about the way things were, the better. And they have to hate crowds for sure.
• Believe that their view is the only legitimate one, and why can’t everyone else see this?

Forget trying to come up with fun promotions or give stuff away, this strategy has the potential to really bring in the big numbers. Now I all I’ve got to do is find the right sucker editor to pick a fight with…